3 Tinder tips for Indian men to get more matches

3 Tinder tips for Indian men to get more matches

Before you start on using Tinder, know that Indian girls use Tinder and recommend it to their girl friends just for the sheer joy of rejecting Indian men. How do we match and get ahead of this "game" where the Indian problem of a surplus men is real?

What made you think I'm any better or why I'm writing this blog? Let me explain. I have a classmate from IIT Delhi who makes over Rs 15 lakhs/annum and never had any girlfriend in his college days. If you look at him, he's the definition of the most innocent guy; he's the kind of guy every girl wants to marry and spend the rest of her life with but there's a catch. However, innocent and decent he looks, he has a darker side like every other guy. He asked me to help him with Tinder. I tried.

Let me guide you as I've guided him got a few matches and his story is just the beginning. Unlearn everything you know; this blog is your religion, the playbook to your life, the exact rules to follow so the sun could rise on your turf.

1. To begin, let's talk about your profile picture

My friend is a good looking guy, really smart and has almost everything a girl wants except that he's not very approachable in person. Typical IITian. Upon seeing his profile, I noticed that he has put five pictures. All selfies; one taken at home with his parents (this is not so bad), taken in his car, with two girls in his office, in the gym and a group picture!! The biggest mistakes in the book of Tinder. Girls like to see a normal guy. Not a guy without a life or friends to take pictures of him.

What did we do? We change all his pictures. His first picture was of him with blurry mountain showcasing himself as a smart sophisticated guy and has an air of approachability and friendly looks followed by a picture taken at a rooftop bar in Hauz Khas village with a beautiful backdrop. The rest were decent pictures of him taken by friends with decent backgrounds. NOT a selfie. It should never be a selfie unless it's a great selfie :D

2. Change the job title and college name!

He didn't update his facebook job title and didn't even add his college. So the corresponding Tinder title came to "a shitty old job + a random school" nobody heard about. We changed that to his latest job title which is pretty fancy and obviously, added IIT Delhi as his college. Yeah, girls may get turn off or so they say but deep down, the brand name suggests, "stability". I know it's not a great marketing tactic but let's get real. Girls who aren't in their teens look for future securities and not some boys with 6 packs. Okay okay.. I'm kidding on that one as long as the guy doesn't show his body at a gym as a piece of meat with no brains attached.

3. The profile bio on Tinder! The toughest of them all.

How do we set ourselves apart from thousands of men from the girls who loves to swipe left and reject men as their hobby? How do we stand out in the crowd? Most girls I've spoken to on Tinder said the same in unison, "You have 3 seconds to impress me after I click on your picture. If you look like a super star, that's a different story but if you are just above average looking guy without the profile bio, that's a guaranteed 99% left swipe". 

You are in India and most girls are very conservative even on Tinder and their only purpose is to reject you. So, keep it short and sweet. Make it known that you are a simple, fun, unassuming and sociable guy. Don't brag and it's not okay to be superficial as a guy. Think from the girls' perspective while writing about yourself. Short but enough to build a curiosity. A fun, outgoing, adventurous guy is a plus in every girls' Tinder book. 

4. If you aren't getting matches after doing everything possible mentioned here, don't get disheartened. Give it time. Perhaps, ask a close girl/guy friend to help you edit your "resume" on Tinder. There's no shame. Really. When your parents can put up your name in the newspaper classifieds, what's wrong with this one, right? Be on Tinder and Proud.

5. Once matched, don't act too desperate to meet her and have your way. Most Indian girls on Tinder aren't there for what you think they are there for. Remember that most of them are on Tinder to reject you and laugh at your expense. So be nice. Try to have a normal conversation. Give her a chance to ask about you too. You are doing it wrong if she's only replying to what you ask. Pivot Pivot Pivot. It is essential to give her time and get her to ask about you as well. If she responds with only one word answers multiple times and doesn't show much interests, simply writing something like, "One word answers.. I seem to be killing it today :D" or "One word responses.. I'm usually not that boring :P" always help. Be super patient, stay cool and don't try too hard. She owes you nothing.

Let me conclude by saying this; If the conversation is going great, set a plan to meet up. Don't wait too long. People in our lives would come and go as per their will and convenience. Don't have hard feelings if they unmatch you and very importantly, don't get too attached to anyone easily. If they say "no", don't dig further. A No is a No. Respect that.

Happy Tindering and good luck finding someone special :)

Edit 1: A girl friend asked me if we really do this much to get matches on Tinder?! She was shocked :P

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Valentine's day in IIT Delhi

So it’s the time of the year again when Delhi University (DU) girls are a common topic and laughing at the girls from Himadri or Kailash hostels in the name of being “not good enough” and yet secretly wanting.. Welcome to the junta of IIT Delhi. The place where the sex ratio stands at 10:1 and where a hundred boys goes crazy over one or two better looking girls among the lot. 

It Girls from IP College in IIT Delhi hostel is not uncommon for the young lover boys in the hostels of IIT Delhi to mock at girls amongst his peers, yet secretly have a hidden folder somewhere in his laptop named after her and pictures downloaded off facebook and whatsapp. Now now.. Don’t act like as though you have no idea of what I’m talking about. Admit it. “Be a man” as Russell Peters would put it.

Yes, it is also the time of the year when I’m most often approached by the boys to introduce me some “north eastern chicks” who likes to party and drink. The “easy” ones, they would say. These are my boys and showing them middle finger is a usual thing. Can’t change the mindset overnight. An auto wallah puts it, “No offense brother but the girls from your place do party a little too hard. Drink too much and do all sort of things”. I had to defend and so replied, “Be it a girl or a boy, irrespective of where they come from, time have change. Everybody drinks and party.” But he was quicker to his defense, “Look brother, I have lived long enough and ferried thousands of passengers. Don’t be mad at me but I’m only telling you of what I see everyday”. Yes, a few girls and boys do have a neck to party hard and unknowingly spoil the image of the rest of us from the North East. 

Anyways, coming back to the IIT Delhi campus, it is a freaking big deal to be able to talk to a girl. I remember sitting next to a girl and saying, “hi” and to which she turned to her friend and said, “isn’t this Ningning? How flirtatious”. Yes, it’s beyond believe. Its insane. Its impossible. There are however quiet a friendly ones to make an exception. Frankly speaking, getting into a relationship with the opposite sex here is a very big deal, an achievement if I may add. I'm surprise somebody hasn't put it on his resume for fun's sake. Who knows, the HR might like you for your creativity haha.. People talk, “she isn’t good enough for him. Look at her complexion, so dark!” or “he is such a jerk, she should have been with me” and goes the conversations. Almost all the students mock at the guys having girlfriends from within the campus citing their looks as the main reason but deep down, jealousy is a bitch.. Come on, if any girl shows interest, you would go for her with your tails wagging. Its IIT Delhi, you don’t have a choice. Beggars can’t be choosers. Yes, I know we live in the 21st century but damn LOL

This is also the time of the year when a few handful boys will try out the roads taken by many of the seniors before them. Tips and Tricks will be shared, spoils will be enjoyed as they drive out with money in their pockets. HIV on Valentines Day but convincing themselves that such a dreadful disease can’t get them. I’m not judging. As long as they are happy. Wait.. why am I saying this? I really don’t know. It’s my personal blog and I’m just sharing what comes to my mind. 

Yes, getting into a relationship is a mess, its painful, its pitiful from a different angle, its crazy but if you haven’t, give it a shot. You Only Live Once. Fall in love, have a heart break, fall in love again with another. It will hurt you more but it won’t kill you.  

Remember, “the most beautiful girl is the loneliest” – Charlie Sheen. Make a list and start from the top. Walk up to her and surprise yourself with something simple as, “I’ve fancied you long enough and would like to know you better. Join me for dinner tonight.” And smile. If she says “No. I’ve got plans already”, don’t sweat it out. Hurry up, you have the next girl on your list to ask out ☺

What about me, some self style love guru on the Valentine's Day be doing? Well, I’ll probably be taking my awesome 5 years old nephew, Jethro for shopping. Buy him the ironman costume he’s been asking for weeks now. Love for my 3 nephews, priceless. 

Photo Credit: The girls in the picture are from IP college, Delhi University perhaps on their way to attend "Socials" at IIT Delhi and taken from www.coolage.in

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The girl with a chimera tattoo

"Ningning, I'm happy for you" she said choking in her voice over the phone at 3:24am in the morning. Happy for me?!! I thought in my sleepy head. She dumped and left me high & dry as she walked out that door. She just comes back around after all these months with a guilty conscious seeking to start afresh! I could only imagine looking into her eyes with tears and in pain. That part of me was long gone. it was only a few minutes ago i was flirting with another girl over the phone on my hostel terrace when she called. I wonder if she knew I'm not her boy toy anymore.

Looking back, she was like my first video game. "You complete me", I often say. Yeah she did. We were great friends and we become more than friends over time. Everything came around naturally and for the first time I understood the meaning ‘made for each other'. We were awesome together in each others' wonderland.

Distance. Long distance relationship can turn sour and when it does, tattoooh boy, be glad you aren't there. The thought of betrayal, the thought of being cheated, the rumours and the lies that follows, it's an ugly sight. I thought i tried but time's a tricky thing and her phone was almost and always busy in the middle of the night. I knew it was time to move on but i didn't want to lose her. There was hope and hope is a good thing, they say. I stuck around until the minute she was proposed which I knew was coming and was coming soon. But damn, i didn't expect it that soon! 

Life's an experience and it has given us so much and yet we curse along as we move on. How insensitive of us, i know. Anyways, she was happy with someone else and no, unlike the movies, I wasn't happy for her. It was painful to think of her in someone else's arm. Her facebook updates with her new guy was beyond what words could describe. My blood grows cold everytime. It's like magic! The only difference being the fact that I'm on the receiving end and not the viewer enjoying every minute of the trickery nature played upon me.

Staying in the metro city could be hard when you don't step out of your room and for a guy who doesn't drink or smoke and naturally who doesn't party much, I end up spending my weekends with the single guys in my hostel which is mostly and sadly all of them. The ignorant virgins and their talks about how they would and could but choose not to and the guys who pay to satisfy their urges is one hell of a bunch to kill time on weekends. A good bunch. By the way, if you are a girl and wants to get serious, find an IITian. They are saving themselves for marriage. No kidding. On a great weekend, a guy or two or less from each hostel would score some dates with real Delhi University (DU) girls while the rest have imaginary DU girlfriends in their laptops. Horny engineers. Yes, IITians rock, I know.

It was a few months after the so called break up that I finally thought it was time and told myself, "hey! I'm single" but then again looking at the girls in my college, IIT Delhi, I didn't have much of a choice. The good ones are taken, the other good ones are, lets' say, not available. the available girls, I don't know them yet. The girls in my friends' circle won't introduce me saying, "You are a bad boy and will be a bad influence". Oh yes, the bollywood movies are a good influence! And No, it doesn't get better than that.

Time's important and whenever I go back to my room to kill it, the train of thoughts follow. She blame me for the break up!! Apparently, I was never there for her and she found this time of the year convenient to tell me this. only if. We could have taken the other road. We could have found a solution together but no, she found a new guy for herself instead and decided to walk back right in when her new relationship turned sour. I was sleepy but her choky voice woke me up. I hate it when people blame me but this time, it was different. I knew I had not treated the way she should have. Deep down, I knew everything fell apart mostly because of my fault but I hated her. I felt humiliated with the way she treated me beyond reasons. She dumped me for another guy and that thought just gets deeper into the head. My heart grew cold. 

Time heals everything and don't they say "patience pays"? A fine evening it was when I met this fine, charming and an extremely talkative girl who can talk about anything under the clouds.  Dressed in white tee with some funky colourful graffiti on it, grey hot pants, her kissable lower lip pierced and so is her navel which I found out later and three sets of different earrings with white & red stones, big beautiful hazel eyes with black kajal. Oh summer bliss. She was seasoned with a deep-inked chimera tattoo on the back of her right shoulder, pretty as she could be, very comfortable with herself. I was lost in my contemplations until she looked at me and smiled. She's neither the kind of girl I usually go out with nor the kind of girl I thought I'd fall for. Life is not the way I had planned but I would like to think I'm doing better than awesome, atleast for now :)

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And there goes my first blind date!

“I don’t think I can see you again. I wish all the very best in life. Btw, your million dollar idea is safe with me.” 

I responded to her SMS with a simple smiling smiley ":)" and that was the last I ever heard from her again. Yes, it was great while it lasted. How long did it last? Approximately 4 hours and 47 minutes.

My First blind dateGirls are the best wingman and one of my good old friend, Nitya introduced me to one of her best friends, Sonali. Yes, to repair her laptop that broke down a week after she paid Rs 1500 at Nehru Place to fix it. Sweet… laced with honey. Everything starts with a favour when it comes to my friends introducing a girl. She’s from JNU and was just about a 10 minutes drive away. A couple of days and a few facebook messages, she gave me her number without being asked and I thought, “she’s awesome” to myself.

Friday, a few days later: I was nervous!! Perhaps because I have never really had a blind date before or perhaps because I was out with the boys earlier and wasn’t dressed for the “occasion”. In short, I was at my worst: a white Louis Philippe shirt, black Woodland shorts and my favourite Nike slippers. As I reached her hostel, I saw her from a distance and my heart skipped. Dressed in blue jeans, black tees and matching sandals. She turned around, our eyes met and not being dramatic but I almost lose control of my car. Yes, she’s not bad at all in person ;)

We greeted and drove around the campus stopping at NorthEast dabha for a cup of ginger tea. Went to the infamous PSR Rock of JNU, watched the couples in the dark as they count the night stars like the young teenage couples in my college hiding away. I guess we all have our naughty childish sides in opportune moments. We just sat there and talked like as though we’ve been friends for a long time. 

For no particular reason, she wanted to go to India Gate! A long drive with a future potential girlfriend. Why not, right? I don’t remember much of what we talked about! Perhaps, it’s the tips from Charlie Sheen. A few keywords in between her sentences and reply as though I understood everything hehe..  She did mentioned about being not ready for another relationship. She had broken up with her boyfriend of over 2 years a few weeks ago and was an emotional wreck. Perhaps, I should have care to think how or what must be going through her. Everything’s a learning experience. She still had feelings for him and her facebook had his picture with “I miss him” written all over it. I should have known. She’s not the prettiest of the girls I’ve been with but she’s got a charm that one gets drawn to. She smiles and the world inside of you smiles along. She’s beautiful in her own ways.

I wasn’t expecting anything to turn around that night anyways. I had broken up with my girlfriend the week before and needed to clear my head. She was perfect. I had a great time and dropped her off to her hostel around 4 in the morning.

I was thinking of asking her out again in the coming weeks but my schedule was beyond tight for anything fancy. We kept in touch over the course of time through SMS and facebook messages. I thought it was going great. I don’t know what happened! Her first impression of me was probably her last or she found someone else better or to put it in my friend’s word, “You reminded of her boyfriend and he’s obviously way better than you”. We laughed. Deep down, I was hurt a little, told myself, “Life isn’t fair to have not gotten a second chance with her. I wasn’t at my best. She could have been mine.”

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Dating a Non IITian girl

"Love before first sight" ..I thought this one liner is my original and kept teasing it to one of my best friends, Anweshan with a girl he's been hinting on for ages and never really thought it would hit me back, hit me back real hard. 

I had seen her pictures and was longing to see her in person. Several months went by and when I finally saw her for the first time, I felt a weakening sensation. There was charm, there was beauty, there was elegance in the way she carried herself. I knew I wanted her and introduced myself. How amazing it is, everything went slow-mo right there and then!! "Could anyone be as beautiful as her?" I thought. She was dressed in white tops, orange hot pants and matching sandals. Beautiful she was and I loved every part of her body; her smile, her skin, her hair, her legs, her voice.. We parted our ways after a bit of talking but somehow couldn't stop myself as I walked away and turn around optimistically. I found her looking at me. We smiled.

She was the kind of girl I wanted to show off as my girlfriend proudly and feel the superior being for nailing the hottest chick IIT Delhi has ever gotten. Funny. I know but this superiority complex feeling is in almost every IITian's blood when it comes to walking around the campus with a girl. Any girl, with a "Ladki hai toh chalega (if it is a girl, it'll do)" attitude. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, they say. And interestingly enough, these are the eyes of the desperate IITians and therefore any god damn girl who walks the campus suddenly becomes very beautiful. Any girl turns head in the IIT Delhi campus!

Coming back to my love-before-first-sight story, my heart skips every time I see her (Lets say, in one of the churches) but my schedule was tight and I couldn't go to church often. Weeks turn into months and I grew impatient and desperate. Believe me, that's the only place I could see her. Anyways, after a few phone calls to arrange a meeting with her through friends and family, I finally got her number at a dinner hosted by a generous awesome cousin and called her a week later for a movie but she couldn't receive my called for some reason and SMSed me instead. A deal breaker, I know. 

I grew up hearing "Time and tide waits for no one" and therefore I finally gathered the courage to ask her out for dinner once again. Had decided the place and time, car washed and so was everything else. All that's left was to ask her. Not the brightest of ideas to take the dream girl but I would like to think my first date was at the KFC followed by a very long drive occasionally looking at her and feeling good about her being next to me smiling all the way but "Oh dear dear" as Sheldon Cooper would say it. Reality hits hard. The spark or whatever that's called, I could read her mind, was missing. 

Several weeks went by after the imaginary date and the imaginary kiss. I don't know if it is hormones acting up but I couldn't just give up on her and so I called one fine evening again, one last time and so it happens, my number was missing from her phone. Wow. I heard lies she didn't have to say. Nothing felt more insulted. I don't remember anyone turning me down to such a low level as that. Obviously as it should, the cupid's arrow literally went through my heart. Something inside went nuts wanting to know about the other guy she's kept ahead of me but to save the pain, I left that part of myself to die. This episode finally turned off all the lights.

I do see her sometimes with awkward hellos and she's still stunning as ever. I know I didn't get a fair chance to show her my other side but I guess some things are never meant to be. I concluded and found peace in the fact that she's a completely different person and never meant to be mine. It's a shame, she used to be such an inspiration for everything I do and there was nothing that I won't do for her. Times are hard. "There's more fishes in the pond", I told myself and found solace with the lie that she's not good enough for me. 

 

PS: I would like to think this is a work of fiction except for the first paragraph, my friend is real and is not co-incidental. He is living, alive and kicking great :P

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